That Time They Removed a 3/4-inch Stone from Me

Seriously! Look at the size of that monster!

Back in April they removed that thing from me, along with the gallbladder is was in. They wouldn’t let me keep it, so I won’t be putting it in the microwave (or some toxic ooze) to see if it takes on a life of it’s own. Maybe it would look like the rock monsters in the Noah movie?

I’ve long thought that precious stones’ value should be based on the amount of human suffering involved in creating them. Kidney stones (yes I get those too) and gallstones would become among the most valuable rocks on the planet. Talk about “suffering”! I would have demanded they give me this, “my precious” gallstone after the surgery. And perhaps been disappointed I could no longer produce the things. I’d become rich if I could just figure out how to pass kidney stones, without breaking them up. I could get my astronomical medical bill paid off in no time! Just kidding… it’s not worth it, at any price.

They did an initial procedure, before the actual gallbladder removal, where they sent a camera and a tool down my throat and widened an opening slightly, so that stones that had left the gallbladder, could pass though more easily. It wasn’t pleasant, though unconscious, I fought it, and have vague recollection of having a snake forced down my throat while my gag reflexes, reinforced by every muscle in my body, tried to barf it back up.

Anyway, after reviving from that procedure and returning to my room, I was removing the various “stickies” and tape that had been holding sensors and such on me. I happened across one on my right bum-cheek that turned out to be the sticker you see here (about 1.5in long). It was positioned in such a way as to indicate I should be laying on my left side. I’m not sure if me fighting the snake caused some problems and confusion, or if that’s standard procedure to put a visual reminder, so no mistakes are made? OR, if it was just an in-joke at my naked, unconscious expense…?


Just have to say “thank you” to my beautiful wife, who was there with me keeping me positive, and laughing at the sticker on my bum.